You’re single, overworked, and have no time to keep house clean. Weekends are too precious to be packed with chores. So, what happens when an unexpected visitor drops by? Here’s an attempt to a panic-driven fake clean-up in 20 minutes. Read on for the results.
The Countdown
20 minutes: Make a quick assessment of the degree of damage control required. Collect the mop and bucket, duster, an all-purpose cleaner spray and air-freshener.
19 minutes: Dart to the bathroom and dump all the dirty clothes into the washing machine. (Out of sight works great at times like these).
18 minutes: If the laundry bag is not empty, grab a garbage bag and put the rest of the clothes in it and shove it under the bed.
17 minutes: Run to the washbasin and quickly scrub it clean.
16 minutes: Take the mop and in rapid dance movements rid the floor of all assorted debris. Slap a wet mop in areas you think are grimier than usual. Take a page of newspaper and scrub the bathroom mirror. It will look clean enough.
15 minutes: Back to the wash room. Draw the shower curtain across the tube and put an array of disorganised toiletries in a bucket and the bucket in the tub, behind the curtain. Spray the bathroom with an air freshener.
14 minutes: Next, the kitchen. The sink is stacked with dirty dishes? Load them into the dishwasher. Make sure to close the kitchen door.
13 minutes: A quick peek into the fridge and all half eaten cans, open-mouthed baked bean jars and other stuff that usually is for your eyes should go into the garbage bag.
12 minutes: Put all the bottles and cans on the kitchen counter inside the fridge and then wipe the counter and sink.
11 minutes: Mop the kitchen floor and shove the floor mat under the cooking range. Cover the cooking range with fresh aluminum foil.
10 minutes: Quickly start the coffee machine. Spray another perfume.
9 minutes: Rush into the bedroom, collect all the clothes lying everywhere and push them under the bed too.
8 minutes: Get your colourful embroidered heirloom bed spread and it will work like a charm. Ensure the wardrobe doors are firmly shut.
7 minutes: Draw the bedroom curtains. Pile all the cosmetics on the vanity counter into an oversized trinket box.
6 minutes: Run into the living room to take a quick look. Gather all the books, magazines and newspapers, dump into another garbage bag and stuff them – yes, again – under the bed.
5 minutes: Collect all the CDs covers and the discs separated days ago and never reunited and push them into every possible drawer in the living room.
4 minutes: Dust the side board, the TV, the music system and all the other knick-knacks.
3 minutes: Plump the sofa and chairs and adjust all the cushions.
2 minutes: Is the floor very dirty and you have no time to clean it? Quickly spread a rug over it and sweep everything underneath.
1 minute: Look at yourself in the mirror. Didn’t like what you see? With soap on your face and hair in a pony tail, open the door to greet your long-lost friend.
